the encumbrance of grief deposited on my chest

when you left, set off a timer within me

i parlayed with death, just for another greeting

your voice, your smile, your warmth,

your style, 

though i didn’t know the ordinary man, 

my father was always present

conflicted because i took you for granted

who do i have to blame but myself

i wept for countless hours,

in hopes that the love i never gave would reach you

how long would i have to repent

to see your face again,  and not feel like my soul was ugly,

given the chance today the time i would spend

how will i ever forgive myself,

have i forgiven myself,

for abandoning you

my greatest sin.


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